It is OK to Feel Disappointed and Sad

I have been rejected and failed so many times and it never gets easier.

After university, I remember vividly my first job interview. It was a recruitment company in a hotel close to Manchester Airport. I was applying for a role they were advertising.

I wore my new blue suit and my orange tie, I took along my CV and although very nervous I was excited. The job was to become a medical sales representative and I had talked to people about the job, and shadowed someone to learn more.

At the end of the interview the lady I met told me, right then and there, that I would not get a job in the industry.

She said that companies were seeking experienced people and that it was a conservative industry and the way I looked and my approach would not fit. She told me, she said, because she didn’t want to get my hopes up.

I was devastated. I went home and locked myself in my room feeling disillusioned and depressed.

On another occasion, my team were due to play a major cup final at a huge stadium. I had been in the team all through the qualifying rounds, but for the final, a player who had been injured was available and I was told I would miss out.

I remember walking to the side of the pitch where the rest of the team was training, lying on the ground and tears filled my eyes.

I couldn’t let anyone see how devasted I was, but I felt totally destroyed.

It was everything I had dreamed of, snatched away and I could hardly bare it.

The rejection, it continues today.

In the last 2 months I have been faced with the challenge of rejection from a number of people. They have told me clearly that they have other plans and that I am not part of the future.

Again, I have felt these same feelings. A sense of hollowness in my stomach, a feeling of unworthiness and disillusionment and loss that is overwhelming.

Each time followed the same pattern.

Rejection happens. It is part of life.

This post is not going to point out the lessons that I learned. It is not going to describe how I used these rejections as fuel. It is a reminder that rejection and failure happen.

It is important that we understand that. There are days when we feel awful when we feel we are not enough and when we feel that things are never going to go right.

What is important is that we understand that this is normal. We can feel this way for a time and gradually feel better.

It is OK to go home, to lie on your bed, to cry, to feel angry and frustrated.

Because of these days, we should enjoy the days when things go well. Days when we have been rejected give us permission to celebrate the days when it is going well.

Next week, when something good happens to you, remember a moment when you felt like nothing could go right and recognise that you can enjoy this moment because you suffered that.

The sun sets, it goes dark and it gets cold.

Enjoy the warmth because you felt that cold.